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Divorcing? Take the Time You Need Divorce
is not an event; it’s a process. Whether it takes three weeks, three
months, or three years, nothing will be solved immediately. Take a deep
breath and relax as much as you can. There
are steps most people go through in the process of a separation and
divorce, similar to the steps in the grieving process after a death:
denial, anger, grief, acceptance. A person in the denial stage can go
through the motions of filing paperwork, but will not be “ready” for
a divorce until the steps are completed. Often
partners do not progress through these steps at the same speed or same
time. A spouse who has been secretly planning to leave the marriage for
some time may have gone through all four stages before the spouse
who’s left behind becomes aware there’s a problem. The process
should and can wait until the second spouse works through his or her
feelings. Two
issues should be handled expeditiously: You and the children must be
safe. You and the children must have a roof over your head and food on
the table. These are survival questions. Once they’re provided for,
the rest can take as long as you need. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adapted from
101 Little Instructions for Surviving Your Divorce: A No-Nonsense Guide
to the Challenges at Hand, by family law attorney Barbara J. Walton.
Available at online and local bookstores or directly from Impact
Publishers, Inc., PO Box 6016, Atascadero, CA 93423, www.bibliotherapy.com or phone
1-800-246-7228. |