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Lofty Goals: Too Much of a Good Thing?

Learn to Set Healthy Goals

Goal setting is an important, and even an essential, part of life. Our main goal is to survive and to be happy in various ways, including personal achievement, mental health, and good relations with other people. When we don’t seem to have goals, we usually do have them in our underlying desires, but we sometimes insist that we absolutely must achieve them and achieve them remarkably well. Our demand that we have to achieve our goals then leads to anxiety in case we don’t accomplish them remarkably well. Consequently, we make achieving them too “dangerous,” and often cop out and make ourselves goal-less.

If we give up our grandiose demands that our goals must be achieved, but still keep our strong desire to attain them, we usually have several possible goals – and can choose to work on those we prefer over our other goals. Many goals – such as saving money and spending it on other goals – are contradictory. Too bad! – but we can’t have everything. So if we keep our goals and desires, but refuse to make them absolute necessities, we can work things out, make compromises, and achieve many of the things we want much – but hardly all – of the time.

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Adapted from Ask Albert Ellis: Straight Answers and Sound Advice from America’s Best-Known Psychologist, by Dr. Albert Ellis.  Available at online and local bookstores or directly from Impact Publishers, Inc., PO Box 6016, Atascadero, CA 93423, www.bibliotherapy.com or phone  1-800-246-7228.

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