The following article is provided free for reprint to our media friends, as long as the article is reprinted in its entirety and includes the final footnote paragraph. For additional information, contact Lindsay Dutro at 805-466-5917 or email at marketing@impactpublishers.com.Love
Isn’t Like A Pie Guiding
Your Child Through Jealousy When
your child becomes part of a stepfamily, the confusion he or she faces
will seem overwhelming, and may call for some extra reassurance on your
part. Helping your child fit in will involve dealing with new
jealousies: new stepsiblings, new stepparents, a new house with new
rules. Author Cynthia MacGregor (Jigsaw
Puzzle: The Stepkids’ Guide to Fitting It Together) offers
children the following “food for thought”: When
your new stepbrother starts being really loving to your mom, and your
mom starts being loving back to him, how do you feel? When your dad includes your new stepsister on the
fishing trips that used to be just for you and him, how do you feel? When your brother shoots hoops with your new
stepbrother, how do you feel? Jealous?
It’s very normal. But it’s not very good. Remember,
love isn’t like a pie. If you divide a pie in half, each piece is
going to be very big. If you divide it in eighths, though, each piece is
going to be much smaller. But
love isn’t like a pie. Your mom, dad, brother or sister can love your
new stepsiblings and still have plenty of love left to go around. If
your mom grows to love your new stepsister a lot, that doesn’t mean
she loves you any less. It doesn’t mean you’re any less important to
her. And
if your dad says, “I’m proud of you,” to your new stepsister, do
you feel resentment and jealousy? Do you wish it was you
he was saying he’s proud of? All
these are normal feelings. But they’re not healthy. They’re not good
for you. Accept the fact that you’re only being human. But also accept
the fact that you need to get past feeling that way. Your
parent doesn’t love you any less. You still have all his or her love
that you had before. (And now you have your stepparent’s love too!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adapted from
Jigsaw Puzzle Family: The Stepkids’
Guide to Fitting It Together, by Cynthia MacGregor. Available at
online and local bookstores or directly from Impact Publishers,
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