Rebuilding Facilitator's Manual

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Bruce Fisher, Ed.D.

Bruce Fisher, Ed.D. (1931-1998) developed the "rebuilding" model of divorce recovery nearly 25 years ago. Founder and director of the Family Relations Learning Center (Boulder, Colorado), he personally trained thousands of individuals and therapists in this approach, enriching the lives of hundreds of thousands worldwide. He was a highly popular divorce therapist, author, and teacher, and a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. His "Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale" is an internationally recognized measure of adjustment to the ending of a love relationship. Bruce grew up on a family farm in Iowa, was the first in his family to earn a college degree, and went on to a doctorate from the University of Northern Colorado in human development. His dissertation research focused on the development of the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale. Bruce's widow, Nina Hart, is co-author with Bruce of the popular relationships book, Loving Choices. Nina continues the teaching, training, consulting, and therapy work she and Bruce did together for more than fifteen years.

Note to the Reader

Preface: About the Educational Model

How to Use this Facilitator's Manual

1. The Ten Sessions

Session One: The Rebuilding Blocks Lesson Plan for Session One

Facilitating Session One

Reply Letter to Advance Registration

Outline and Overview of the Ten Sessions

Opening Night Sign Up Sheet

The Rebuilding Blocks

Participants Registration Agreement

Personal Information Sheet

Class Attendance Form

Payment of Fees Form

I Am Female and My Life Is in Shambles

I Am Male and I Am Totally Alone

Opening Night Letter from Bunny

Description of the Educational Seminar

How to Create the Rebuilding Seminar in Your Community

Comments or Order of Topics for the Ten Sessions



Session Two: Adaptation

Lesson Plan for Session Two

Facilitating Session Two

Adaptive Behavior Homework Sheet

List of Adaptive Behaviors

Authentic and Adaptive/Survivor Behaviors

It Is Never My Responsibility to... When I Feel Responsible

Words of Wisdom to Rescuers

101 Ways to Praise a Child

Risks. A Hug Is a Great Gift

Affirmations


Session Three: Grief

Lesson Plan for Session Three

Facilitating Session Three

Life Stress and Physical Illness

Letting Go

Then, Now, and Tomorrow

Good-bye Letters

Affirmations

Referral List of Therapist, Attorneys and Clergy


Session Four: Anger

Lesson Plan for Session Four

Facilitating Session Four

Healthy Ways to Work On Anger

Using Anger to Become Empowered

Illustrating Relationships with Body Sculpting

So What Can I Do About My Anger?

Relationships Are My Teachers - The Swing

Affirmations


Session Five: Self Worth

Lesson Plan for Session Five

Facilitating Session Five

Steps to Improving Your Feelings of Self-Worth

It's Me Serenity Prayer

Rules for Being Human

I'm Okay -- You're Okay

Hugging

Affirmations


Session Six: Transition

Lesson Plan for Session Six

Facilitating Session Six

Fisher's Theory of Growth and Development

Affirmation of the Unlimited Person


Session Seven: Openness

Lesson Plan for Session Seven

Facilitating Session Seven

The Mirror Sees Through My Mask

Building A Wall

Johari Window

Please Hear What I Am Not Saying

I Am Me -- Small Group Activity

Affirmations



Session Eight: Love

Lesson Plan for Session Eight

Facilitating Session Eight

All About Love

What Do You Know About Love?

Love - You Are Your Own Best Friend

Happiness - It's Only Natural

Affirmations


Session Nine: Relatedness

Lesson Plan for Session Nine

Facilitating Session Nine

Relationship Blocks for Recently Separated People Starting to Date

Today - Growing Relationships

Listening Is Loving/Effective Listening/ Attending Skills

Questions for Discussion

Affirmations


Session Ten: Sexuality

Lesson Plan for Session Ten

Facilitating Session Ten

Sexuality Questionnaire

Affirmations

Example of Final Class Evaluation - Jere Bierhaus Class

Final Class Evaluation Form

Class Evaluation Summary Sheet

Graduation Diploma



2. How to Facilitate

How to Facilitate the Rebuilding Seminar



3. Volunteer Helper Information

Welcome Volunteer Helpers

Volunteer Helper Agreement

Volunteer Helper Duties

Volunteer Special Assignment Sheet

Specific Suggestions for Volunteer Helpers

Fisher Seminar Volunteer Helper Assessment Scale

How to Set Up and Implement a Volunteer Helper Program

Volunteer Training Workshop Agenda

Helpful Information for Volunteer Helpers

Assessment of Suicide Potential



4. Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale Information

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale Description

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale Answer Sheet

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale Profile

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Seale Scoring Class Summary Sheet

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale Helpful Hints for Interpreting Profiles

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale Scoring Transparencies

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale Interpretations

Fisher Divorce Adjustment Seale Research Data

Scoring Profiler for the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale



5. Widows and Widowers Information

Widowed and Widower Rebuilding Blocks

Widowed and Widower Adjustment Scale

Widowed and Widower Adjustment Scale and Answer Sheet



6. Appendices

Appendix A: Rebuilding for Kids Information

Appendix B: National Support Groups



7. Bibliography